


November Rain

by Hilaryrose



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alive Starks, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Depression, F/M, Gen, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-03-24 14:58:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13813578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hilaryrose/pseuds/Hilaryrose
Summary: The story of how Sansa Stark saves Sandor Clegane from a rainstorm, and somewhere along the way finds the strength to save herself, too.Modern AU. A somewhat introspective, self-indulgent look at falling in love and dealing with depression.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> I'm basing Sansa's mental health off of my own personal experience with clinical depression, anxiety, and ADHD. This is unbeta'd so any mistakes are my own.

_So fucking tired._  
Sansa let her head fall forward and rubbed her hand across her eyes. She shouldn’t be tired, after all she had slept almost ten hours the night before. But she was always tired now. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt rested. Before, she could never nap - she would just lay down with her eyes closed, willing herself to doze off. When that failed, she would read for a while to relax. Now she doesn’t read. Can’t find the time, even though she’s not busy. There's a lot she's can't find the time for these days. Whenever she sits down, it’s a struggle to keep from letting her eyes close. Last week she found herself nodding off during a manicure. 

Blinking purposefully to try and focus, she realized the car in front of her had moved up a bit, so she rolled slowly forward. Huffing, she craned her neck to see how much longer it would take to reach her exit. She could just get into the breakdown lane - it was only a couple hundred feet, but she stayed in her lane.  


_It’s my own fault for taking the King’s Road at 4:30 on a Friday… next week I’ll go the back way._

Her mother set up this appointment for her, and had allowed no room for argument. Catelyn had specifically made the appointment this late in the day so there was no chance Sansa would sleep through it. 

Logically, she understood why she needed go. She hadn’t been feeling like herself recently. Or like anyone. But she didn't want to talk about her feelings, she didn't want to acknowledge her weaknesses. It didn’t even make sense, she’d been through so much worse. As soon as it seemed like everything was going to be okay again, she lost herself. She had been strong enough to leave Joffrey years ago, when she was only a freshman in college. She’d been able to hold her head up high and finish school. She got a good job in her field, found a nice boyfriend, moved out of her parent’s house, did everything you’re supposed to do. Then her boss started asking too much of her. But that was over too. It'd been almost a year since she quit her job, broke up with her boyfriend, and moved home to 'regroup' as her father had put it. She should be fine now. She shouldn’t be like this. She shouldn’t have crumbled.  
  
_Finally.  
_ The traffic had inched forward just enough, and Sansa pulled off the highway. A few turns later, she parked in front of the unassuming beige medical building. She had seen it a million times before, and it had never occurred to her that there were therapists here. Eye doctors and OBGYN’s sure, but it looked way too clinical for a therapist’s office. Her therapist at school had a cozy room in a small remodeled cottage on campus. It had the atmosphere of a nest. It had been warm, welcoming. She had felt safe there. This building was different. It felt like she was going to get blood drawn, or an x-ray. It made her skin prickle uncomfortably. Sansa sat there for a few minutes, trying to compel herself to go inside.

Eventually she swung her long legs out of her car and darted toward the building. It had started to rain. She pushed through the glass doors and waited for the elevator. Once upon a time, she would have taken the stairs. Nowadays, she got winded walking Lady for more than ten minutes. So she waited for the elevator. Scrolling mindlessly through Instagram, she didn't look up when the bell for the elevator dinged. She stepped forward and slammed against his chest as he tried to twist away to avoid her.  
  
“Sorry, s-sorry!”  
She looked up, and stammered out her apology as her eyes fell on the fucking  _ruin_ of this guy’s face. The entire left half was twisted up in angry scars all the way from his hairline down into the neck of his shirt. She tried not to stare at them, meeting the steel grey of his eyes instead. He just shrugged and grunted at her. She blinked stupidly up at him, and apologized again as he turned away. As the elevator door slowly closed, Sansa closed her eyes and sighed. Not only was she late for her appointment, but she was barreling into strangers.  
  
_Oh well. Now I have to go air all my dirty laundry. Maybe he’ll be able to help.  
_ Hope. Just a little flicker of it, somewhere deep in the dark recesses of her empty hallway of a mind. Therapy had helped her before, after Joffrey. She had meant to see someone after she quit her job at The Vale and left Willas, but somehow she had never gotten around to it. She was fine, until she wasn’t. It hadn’t happened right away, or all at once. Her un-fineness had seeped into her life like syrup on waffles. She didn’t notice until every crevice had been filled with the thick syrup of emptiness.

* * *

 

An hour later, she still wasn’t fine. She knew that’s not how therapy worked - you didn’t just show up for one session and leave cured. It would be nice if it was magical like that, but she felt the same as she had when she arrived. Kinda hollow, like she only had a quarter tank of gas left in her metaphorical gas tank. She made sure to stow her phone in her pocket as she rode the elevator back down to the lobby.  


_Let’s not assault anyone else today._

She huffed out half a laugh as the elevator opened on the empty lobby. The guy she had knocked into on the way up had been huge - she probably could run at him full force and he wouldn’t move an inch. She still felt bad, especially since she was pretty sure she wasn’t as careful not to gawp at his scars as she had tried to be. If she knew anything, it was how you got used to people looking at you askance when they thought you wouldn’t notice. Her face wasn’t marred, but she remembered how it felt at school, where everyone had known about Joffrey. She remembered how it was at The Vale, where everyone thought they knew about her and Petyr. She had held her head high, but she felt every one of their looks- no matter how subtle. 

It was raining harder now. She was going to have to run for her car or end up completely drenched, even though she had parked close to the doors. She stood in the vestibule holding the remote start button down on her keys. It was raining buckets, and chilly. She wanted the car to be warm when she got into it. Watching the rain was kind of hypnotizing. It really was coming down, practically dumping water onto the blacktop. It made her want a cup of tea, and fuzzy socks, and to sit by the fire. She resolved to do just that as soon as she got home. Maybe that would make her feel better.  


Pushing out into the downpour, she darted across the lot and practically leapt up into her SUV. It had only been 100 feet or so to her car, and her jeans were absolutely soaked. Thankful that she had started the car already, Sansa cranked up the heat and dug around in the backseat for her gym bag. Once she found it, she dug a towel out of it’s depths and wrung out her hair and tried to blot herself a little bit drier.   
  
A few moments later, she was marginally less wet and slowly backing out of her parking spot. The wipers were on full speed, and she squinted a little out of her rear window. There was a truck sitting in the back of the lot with it’s hazards flashing. She idled for a second, debating. There was a fireplace and fuzzy socks waiting for her at home, but she had just sat in that office and told her new therapist that would try to put herself out there a little. Try to make ‘meaningful connections’ with people, whatever that meant. Sighing, she turned the wheel towards the stopped car.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansa gets Sandor out of the rain and into her car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to make something very clear - there will probably be points in this story where it will seem like I'm insinuating that depression can be cured by romantic attention. That is 150% not what I'm doing. I fell in love with and married my husband whilst in the throes of depression and this is somewhat a reflection of that experience. 
> 
> This chapter is a little short but I just wanted to get them talking, and if I didn't end it here it would have gone on WAY too long. 
> 
> Also for funsies I threw up a photoset how how I picture Sansa and Sandor in this fic: https://mollyyweasley.tumblr.com/post/171365017833/if-i-were-casting-sansa-and-sandor-for-my-fic

CHAPTER TWO 

 

_I’ll just make sure they’re okay. Then I can go home._

She pulled up next to the truck and peered into the driver window. There, illuminated by the soft blue glow of a phone screen was the guy she had bumped into earlier. Sansa tapped lightly on her horn, causing the man in the truck to jump and fumble his phone. Sansa flushed with guilt - she just hadn’t wanted to roll the window down far enough to reach over and knock on the window and ended up scaring the guy half to death.   
  
“Do you need help?”  
She had rolled her window down two inches and hoped she was yelling loud enough for him to hear her, but judging by the blank look on his face, he couldn’t hear her. Sansa rolled her eyes and mimed rolling the window down. He cracked his window and looked back at her expectantly. She leaned forward against the window, and shouted into the rain. This time he heard her, and gave her an irritated look.  
  
“No.”  
His voice was deep, the timbre of it reminded Sansa of the cup of spiced tea she was definitely going to grab on her way home. She squared her shoulders and glared back at him.  
“It’s really shitty out - are you sure I can’t give you a ride or something?”

Even though his hazard lights were on, it was clear the truck wasn’t running.    
_It’s so cold and wet out, there’s no way he’s comfortable sitting there. I could refer him to Gendry’s garage! Why don’t they offer towing? I should mention that to Arya._  
  
She had an AAA card for emergencies, but her family had maxed out their towing miles for the year. Rickon had gotten it in his head that his beat-up old Subaru Outback (the Stark family Starter Car) could handle some ‘sweet off-road action’ and he had gotten stranded not three minutes into his ride. Unfortunately, he had driven almost 60 miles to the off-roading trail in the first place. Between that trip, a blown-out tire on Bran and Hodor’s van, and a busted starter on Jon’s Jeep, they were toast until January. She didn’t think she had jumper cables… _not that I_ would know what to do with them if I did.

A short blast from the truck’s horn snapped Sansa out of her thoughts. She looked back over at the truck, and realized the guy was staring at her with his heavy brow furrowed. He must have said something, but she hadn’t heard.She gestured at her passenger seat - and then yelled out the window.  


“I’m going to turn around - just get in!” 

She backed up, and swung around before backing up next to the truck. For a long moment, nothing happened. She was determined to help this man, although she couldn’t say why. It’s not like she knew him. _He could be a murderer, or a pervert_. Maybe she felt bad for thinking his face was ruined, maybe she was feeling inspired by her therapy session. Either way, she felt compelled to help. Finally, the truck’s door opened. Faster than a man of his size had any right, he slipped out into the rain and reached for her passenger door. Heaving himself into her SUV, he slammed the door closed. She held the towel out for him, wordlessly. He took it and pressed his face into it, ruffling his long, dark hair a bit.  


“I’m Sansa. What’s wrong with your truck?”  
She tried to soften her a voice a little, hoping she sounded genuine. 

“Sandor. And s’not my truck. Borrowed it, but I can’t get the piece of shit to start. I called AAA but the bastards can’t get here for two hours.” 

His voice was slightly muffled by the towel, but Sansa thought she detected a faint accent. Irish. Scottish maybe? Definitely something. She leaned over and pressed the button for the passenger-side heated seat. Sandor grunted appreciatively, and finally looked up at her, somewhat reluctantly. Sansa had a feeling she knew why - he must have seen it in her face before, when she noticed his scars. _Ruin_ , she had thought. She held his gaze firmly, and tried to smile, even though it probably didn’t reach her eyes.  


“Well consider me your knight in silver SUV-“ he scoffed at her “-can I drive you home? Or to a cafe or something?”  
“My truck is at a garage a couple miles away. Iwas going to pick it up tomorrow but it’s ready now. Could you just get me there?”  
“Your… truck? Oh, right. You said you had borrowed this one.”  
Sansa felt a little stupid, having forgotten so quickly. But she was cold, and wet, and tired. “Which garage?” She was nervous, but couldn’t say why. This guy, Sandor, as gigantic and grumbly as he was, wasn’t setting off any alarm bells. She just wasn’t used to being around anybody but family anymore. 

_That must be it. I’m practically a shut-in these days._  


“Uh, it’s the one on Steel Street. I don’t remember the name… got a bull on the sign.”  
Sansa chuckled, “Yeah, I know the one. It’s my brother-in-law’s shop. It’s called Mott’s.”

Sandor looked over at her and grimaced. Smiled, maybe? Either way it looked uncomfortable, and Sansa wasn’t sure what to say. She used to be so good with people. It was terrible, this awkward feeling. 

Sandor opened his mouth and started to say something, but he was interrupted by the shrill ringing of his phone. He actually grimaced at it - Sansa guessed he had actually been trying to smile before - and said “Eeh- sorry, I need to get this.” Sansa nodded, and switched the car into drive. 

_Might as well get going._

As she eased out on the road, she tried not to listen to his phone conversation. That proved futile, in the small space it was impossible not to hear everything. A man’s voice with a much thicker accent- definitely Scottish - blared out into the car. Even the heavy beat of the rain against the windshield couldn’t drown it out.

 

“Alright you great oaf? You called six times, that’s more times than this entire year.”  
“Your fucking truck is what’s up, Giantsbane.”  
“Shella? She’s a beast! A bear! She can handle anything! A champion vehicle. What’ve you done to her?”  
“I haven’t bloody done anything, you madman, just won’t start. I had to leave it parked at the doctor’s. I’m getting a ride to the garage now to get my truck.”  
“Won’t start? Ridiculous. Did you pump the brake and wiggle the key in the ignition? You’ve got to treat a lady right. Can’t just go jamming the key in without giving her a proper warmup.”  
“Shut up.”  
“You’re the one fucking broke MY truck, Clegane! This is the thanks I get!”  
“Shut. Up. AAA is going to come for it in a couple hours, I told them to tow it to your fucking house.”  
“Aye alright. You’re welcome again for the loaner you gigantic cunt.” 

 

Sandor ended the call and ran his hand through his hair, blowing an exasperated breath through his teeth. He glanced over at Sansa, who was looking up at a stoplight expectantly. 

“So why’s your car in the shop?” Sansa was nosey. Sue her. Pulling through the intersection, she glanced over at Sandor. He had his head turned a bit towards his window, and she could barely see his scars. The unmarked side of his face was actually… handsome. If you were into that tall, dark and growly kind of thing.  
“Needed brakes, snow tires, and an oil change. The mechanic said he could fix a couple dents in the bed.” _Talking to this guy is like pulling teeth,_ Sansa thought to herself. _I wonder if this is how I’ve been._ She hadn’t felt much like talking recently.  
“Gendry’s a good guy. He won’t overcharge you or anything.” _Why did Isay that? I’m giving him ideas-he probably didn’t think he was being overcharged._  
“He and my sister got married when they were basically still children but my parents didn’t even mind because he’s such a good guy. Sometimes I think they like him better than they like my sister.” 

_Gods, now what am Ibabbling about?! This guy doesn’t care about his mechanic’s relationship to his in-laws._  
She had spent the last three months answering all of her mother’s questions in nods and whispered ‘No thank you’s but driving with a giant of a man had her running her mouth. 

  
“Sorry. I don’t know why I’m telling you any of this. I’m not myself today.” She glanced over at him, and he was looking back at her quizzically.  
“Not yourself? You don’t always give strange men rides?”  
“Hah, no. I just felt bad someone was stuck in the rain, and then when I saw it was you I felt even worse because I had bumped into you before and stared at your…” Sansa caught herself before admitting she had been staring at his scars. “…face? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean, I mean, I did, but I don’t-“  
“Stop your fucking chirping,” Sansa slammed her mouth closed, embarrassed.  

Staring at the road, she wished she had never been born. _You’re the worst, Sansa. The actual, literal worst. This is why you should just stay in bed, alone, in the dark, where you can't bother anyone._  
  
“It’s fine. People have been staring at my scars for a long time.”  
  
_Great. Now he's trying to make me feel better. I'm was the one who had been rude, staring at him like some kind of sideshow attraction._ _Time to change the subject, Sansa._

“It’s not fine. But listen - I know we’re almost there but I really want something to drink. Do you mind if I swing through the Starbucks drive through? I was going to stop on my way home but since we’re right here…”  
“It’s your car, Little Bird.” She nodded, signaling into the Starbucks parking lot. “Gendry said he’d be there until 6:30 so I’m not in a hurry. I wasn’t going to pick it up until tomorrow anyway.” _Little bird? Well, I’ve been called worse._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY. I mentioned in the original story notes that this is the first thing I have written in a very long time, and it's been difficult to find my feet. I do know where the story is going, it's just the getting there I'm struggling with.  
> It doesn't help that basically as soon as I started posting this story I fell HARD into the Reylo fandom and have spent basically every free second reading fics about them and haven't felt a lot of inspiration for Sansan. Which is weird because they are incredibly similar ships - I have a type.  
> Anyway. I can't promise the next chapter will be up any sooner than this one was, but I promise it will come. As always, any mistakes are my own. I'm 100% sure there are tense issues in my writing but I have always struggled with identifying them, let alone fixing them so unfortunately you'll have to roll with me on that for now.

CHAPTER 3

They sat in semi-comfortable silence as they idled in the drive-through line. Fat raindrops slapped against the windshield as the wipers did their best to clear them. Sansa stared off into space, wondering what exactly she had been thinking when she offered this strange man a ride. _He totally could have been a murderer. What do I know? I was wrong about Joffrey, and so unfortunately right about Petyr. And I was sort of wrong about Willas, too. Sandor seemed okay though. Definitely a little rough around the edges, but he hadn’t leered at her like men tended to, or been too proud to accept help from a woman. That had to count for something, right?_ Finally, it was Sansa’s turn to order. She lowed the window reluctantly, raindrops landing in the car immediately.   

“Welcome to Starbucks! What can I get started for you?”   
“Hi! Can I please have a grande gingerbread tea latte, with almond milk?” No matter how blank Sansa felt most of the time, she always made it a point to be friendly to baristas, waiters, and salesclerks. She knew most people weren’t kind of them, and she didn’t want to burden them with her everlasting bad mood. 

“Sure thing! Can I get you anything else today?” Sansa turned in her seat expectantly, surprised to see that Sandor had his face turned towards her, staring intently at her. She flushed a little, thought she couldn’t say why. His gaze didn’t feel predatory, but he had spent the whole drive looking out the window, or glancing at her briefly when they spoke so she hadn’t been expecting the somewhat intense eye contact when she turned around. 

 “Do you want anything?”   
“Aye - a medium hazelnut latte.” Rolling her eyes, Sansa turned back to the microphone.  
“A grande hazelnut latte please! That’s all!”  
“Alrighty! I’ll see you at the window.” Finally, Sansa could close her window. She reached over and grabbed the towel from Sandor’s lap. She wiped the water off her door, and leaned into the backseat to stuff the towel into her gym bag. Returning to her seat, she eased the car forward a few feet.   
“It’s grande, you know.” Sandor looked up from staring at his lap and gave her a blank look. “Not medium. They call it a grande.” He shook his head, as if she was the one being purposely obtuse, and shifted in his seat, wriggling a worn leather wallet from his back pocket.   
“No, it’s okay. I pay with the app.” He was holding a ten crown note out at her, but she shook her head. “Really, I get stars and free drinks. It’s fine. That’s too much anyway.”   
“I was going to pay for yours too, as thanks. But have it your way, I won’t complain when a pretty lass buys me a drink.” Sansa snorted. She felt decidedly un-pretty in wet jeans and a big cable-knit sweater she had pilfered from her cousin’s closet. Jon always had the best sweaters. She couldn’t remember the last time she did anything with her hair other than pile it on top of her head in a messy bun, and all of her lovely makeup had become a thing of the past.  

After a minute or so, Sansa rolled her sleeve up past her elbow and stuck her arm out the window to pay, grumbling a little about how cold and wet she was as the barista scanned her phone. Sandor huffed softly at her, and reached over to turn up the dial on the heat. As Sansa steered back onto the street they sipped contentedly at their blissfully warm drinks. 

“I thought men like you drank black coffee.” Sansa mused, remembering how Robb and Jon had refused to take any cream or sugar in their coffee for weeks when they were teenagers. They had insisted that ‘real men’ drank their coffee black, having seen their Uncle Benjen take his coffee that way over Thanksgiving. Then Sansa brought home a peppermint mocha creamer, and their sweet tooths got the best of them.  
“Aye? And what am I like?”  
“Um.” Sansa worried her lip as she turned onto Steel Street.   
“Big?” She flushed again - _when have I_ ever blushed this much? _Maybe when I was still a stupid girl, following Joffrey around like a lost dog._ “You know. Manly. Stubborn enough to ask for a medium drink at Starbucks. You drive a truck. You’re probably a contractor or something. I bet you drink whiskey _straight_.” 

 Sansa hated drinking whiskey straight. _Cocktails are delicious, drinking liquor by itself is only good for wallowing._ That had been another annoying phase of Jon and Robb’s. Catelyn had thrown a fit when she found the empty jug of Land of Always Winter Mist under Robb’s bed. "It’s not even good QUALITY Ned! Have we failed as parents?" She had cried, waving the offending plastic jug around feverishly.  
This time when Sandor laughed, it exploded out of him like a bark. He was laughing hard, his face pressed into one of his hands.   
“I don’t know what’s so funny! I’m probably right!”   
“You’re right, fucking hell. Haven’t been following me, have you?” This time it was Sansa who laughed.   
“I’d have to leave the house more often to tail someone, so that’s unlikely.”  
“Probably for the best, I’m not the most interesting mark.”   
“I’m sure you’re plenty interesting.” _Gods. Am I flirting? I remember how to do this - it hasn’t been THAT long._ And honestly - Sandor seemed like an interesting change of pace.   
“Thanks for not being like, a super weird murderer and letting me help you. My therapist says I’m supposed to try and make ‘meaningful connections’ with people, whatever that means. That’s why I was at the medical building, I had therapy.” _Okay, maybe I don’t remember how to do this, I’m just babbling again.  
_ “Dr. Brother?”  
“Um, yes actually.”  
“He’s a good doctor. Helped me quite a bit.” Sansa was surprised, she had been wrong about Sandor again. She had assumed he was at the medical offices for a physical malady, not to talk to someone about his problems. He really didn’t seem the type - but he didn’t seem the type to drink flavored lattes either. “Been on me to make meaningful connections for ages, but insists that a meaningful connection with my dog doesn’t count.”  
“Oh! What kind of dog do you have?” _Maybe we could set up a doggy play date._

At some point in their drive, Sandor had turned himself away from the window he had been so resolutely staring out of in at first, and was leaning heavily towards her on his armrest. She felt surrounded by him. Logically, Sansa knew it was because he was just a big guy. Definitely taller than her father, she thinks even taller than her mother’s friend Brienne. But it felt like he was filling up all the empty space around her - settling into her car the way you settle into a comfortable chair.   


“Ah, he’s a mutt. Rescued him, so I’m not sure. Fucking big creature though. Named Stranger.”   
Sansa snorted again.  _Definitely don’t remember how to flirt. Pretty sure snorting is not on the list of ‘Things that get a guy’s attention’ in Cosmo…. Margery would be rolling her eyes at me right now.  
_ “You named your dog after the god of death?”   
“Isn’t that what a guy like me would do?” _Shit, I think he IS flirting with me. I wonder if asking to see him again counts as making a connection.  
_ “It so is. Then again, I have a dog named Lady, so I’m not one to talk.” Turning into the parking lot of the garage, she glanced at him. He looked much less uncomfortable than he had before, but she supposed he may just be glad to have arrived at Mott’s.   
“Some glorified cat, then? Fluffy and small?” He smirked as he said it, gesturing with his hands that he expected her to own a dog that was approximately eight inches long. Sansa rolled her eyes at him.   
“No, Lady is a Northern Wildling Dog. Like a husky, but bigger. And is that the kind of girl you think I am?” She asked, attempting to sound teasing and not incredulous. With the car stopped right by the office door, she could see Gendry peering out at her, and she waved.   
“Nope. Princesses like that wouldn’t have insisted on giving me a ride. Probably wouldn’t even have noticed I was stuck.”  
“Well, it was really no trouble. I’d hate to be stuck waiting out in the cold, and this wasn’t even far out of my way.” Sansa paused, unsure. She was about to open her mouth and ask to see him again, when he spoke.  
“Reckon we should get the dogs together? Maybe they’ll be better at the whole ‘meaningful connection’ thing than we are.” Somewhere, deep in the back of her mind, it felt like someone lit a candle. The light was small, and flickering, but it was warm where normally there was only cold, and dark.  
“Yes! I mean, yes. I think Lady would really like that. She’s so used to being around lots of other dogs - there were seven of them at one point - and now it’s just her and Shaggydog at home full time and I think she’s lonely. We could go to the dog park in Winter Town - it’s sort of over by the medical building- or my house is up near the Wolfswood Reserve if you wanted to maybe go for a hike? I used to hike with Lady a lot but I’ve gotten a bit…. Well. I haven’t been going as much. I know it’s getting a bit late in the year for a hike but I mean, coats are thing.” _Babbling again, this is just absurd._ “Sorry. Apparently talking to Dr. Brother has me feeling a bit chattier than usual.”   
“I don’t mind your chirping, much.” Sandor held a business card out towards her, and Sansa took it from his hand. There was only the briefest moment of contact between their fingertips, but Sansa shuddered a bit all the same. Sandor was much warmer than her, and she hadn’t even realized she was cold. “My cell number is on there, if you like. Thanks for the ride, Sansa.” He held her gaze for a moment, and smile-grimaced again. 

Then he was gone. The car door opened and closed, a gust of cold wet air filled the car. She watched him speed up to the office door, waved at Gendry again, and turned to face forward. The cold air had mostly dissipated, replaced with the heat pumping out of the car’s vents, but Sansa was freezing. Shuddering, she guided the car back out onto the road, and headed towards home. 

She had just pulled up the long drive and parked when her phone buzzed. A text message from Arya flashed up at her. 

 

Arya  
  
WTF were u doing with the hound?  
  
Who???  
  
I’m at Mott’s w Gendry. The Hound came in to get his truck and Gendry said you dropped him off. I didn’t know you even knew him.  
  
Sandor?  
  
Yeah, Clegane.  
  
I just gave him a ride. We met at the doctor’s office   
  
k weirdo

Arya  
  
How do YOU know him?  
  
He boxes w Brienne at the gym  
  
and he drinks at The Inn sometimes  
  
...and he got me my job at the gym I think  
  
he's OK I guess  
  
He gave me his number   
  
GROSS

 

Sansa rolled her eyes and headed into the house. She was tired again, and looking forward to curling up next to the fireplace. Shedding her still-damp clothes, she pulled on her coziest PJs, and snuggled up to Lady in the living room.

Arya  
  
you're both too tall  
  
i don't want giant nieces and nephews sansa  
  
UGH are you going to follow him around like you did with Joff  
  
seriously your kids would be so tall  
  
please no  
  
STOP IGNORING ME  
  
DON'T MAKE ME DRIVE OVER TO MOMS

Figuring Arya's threat to drive over was baseless, Sansa continued to ignore her. She scrolled through her phone and noticed that the weather on Sunday was going to be pretty mild. _Not a bad forecast for a hike._ Sandor’s business card sat heavy in her hand, emblazoned with a dog silhouette and the words CLEGANE CONSTRUCTION. She tapped the phone number into a new message. In the end, she re-wrote the message no less than eight times before finally sending it.

 

Sandor  
  
Hi! It's Sansa. If you're free Sunday, the weather looks nice for a hike.  
  
  
  


 


	4. Chapter 4

As it turned out, Sandor was not free that Sunday. Sansa had stared at her phone for half an hour, gnawing on the skin around her thumbnail raw. She put her phone face-down so she wouldn't sit, waiting to see the tell-tale ellipsis of an impending response.  _You're kidding yourself, Sansa. Just because you can't see the screen doesn't mean you aren't waiting._ She stopped picking at her thumbnail when it started to bleed, and started chewing on the inside of her lip instead. She stayed up late, past 3am. A response never came. She tried to lose herself in her Netflix queue, but even a true-crime documentary couldn’t stop glancing at her notifications every few minutes. 

_I should have waited. You’re supposed to wait before you call! Everyone knows that. But that’s so old-fashioned. He wouldn’t have given me his number if he didn’t want to hear from me. But… maybe that’s why he didn’t ask for my number? Because he was never going to answer me? He just wanted to get rid of me? I should have known. I'm sure I annoyed him the whole ride, and now I'm being clingy and neurotic and nobody would ever want to put up with this._

When she finally fell asleep, it wasn't restful. She didn't remember having any nightmares, but Sansa was sure she didn't find peace while she slept that night. When she woke up, still tired, her phone heralded four new messages. 

 

Sandor  
  
I can't  
My friend has a boxing match tomorrow. I'm her cornerman.  
Sorry

The timestamps showed a twenty minute gap before the next message.

Sandor  
  
You could come if you like.

Those words followed her around all morning. While she stood in the kitchen waiting for coffee to brew she thought about going. While she mashed avocado onto some sourdough she thought about not going. While she tossed a ball for Lady to catch, she thought about going. Over and over. _A boxing match would be crowded. Violent. Loud._ She imagined the press of bodies around her, the suffocating heat of a crowd, the sound of flesh stretched over bone slapping against muscle. The copper tinged air. The sound of gloved fist meeting gloved fist. _Would it be overwhelming?_   She threw the ball again.  _You like going to hockey games, it's not that much more violent than hockey. But at least the rink is cold._ Lady trotted up to her and dropped the muddy ball at her feet. 

The back door swung open, and Catelyn joined her daughter outside.  
“Hi Mom.” She threw the ball again.  
“Sansa. How was your appointment?” Catelyn rested her hand on Sansa’s shoulder, brushing her thumb against the fleece of Sansa’s jacket.“It was good. I like the doctor.” She shuffled awkwardly, relieving her shoulder from her mother’s touch. Guiltily, she smiled at Catelyn and tried to communicate wordlessly that today wasn’t the worst of days. “Mom?”  
“Yes, Sansa?”  
“Do you know a man named Clegane?” 

Suddenly, Catelyn’s hand was back on Sansa’s shoulder with an iron grip. Her other hand laid against her daughter’s cheek and as Sansa stuttered in surprise.

“Did he hurt you, Sansa? Are you okay? When did you see him- WHERE did you see him? He should still be in prison!”  
“Wh- what? I met him at the doctor’s office! He was nice to me! Prison?!”  
“That man is a _monster_ Sansa. A rapist, and your father believes him to be a murderer as well! He’s truly a cruel man, you must never speak to him again.”  
“B-but Arya said she knew him!”

Catelyn’s face softened instantly, the panic draining from her face, replaced with relief. 

“Oh, Sansa. I’m sorry - Iassumed.” Catelyn shook herself, and brushed her hands down Sansa’s hair. “I panicked. I didn’t even consider, of course, of course you couldn’t mean Gregor.”  
“Mom, what are you talking about?”

Catelyn whistled for Lady, and bade Sansa come inside.  
“Sansa, it’s cold. I’ll make us some tea and explain in the house."

“Gregor Clegane is a monster. They call him The Mountain, and your father arrested him about ten years ago. He was involved in drugs, I don’t remember the details. He assaulted a number of women, and was found guilty. The DA had to drop the murder charges because they didn’t think they had enough evidence. Gods, your father was furious. He ranted and raved to me about that man for months, Sansa. I’m sorry I shouted- Iassumed the worst.”  
“It’s okay, really.”  
“Sandor Clegane is another story entirely. He’s nothing like his brother. He’s a good friend to Brienne, and he has been kind to Arya. I don’t know him well, but I know his life hasn’t been easy. Why do you ask?”  
Sansa flushed.  
“Like I said… I met him yesterday.” Catelyn sipped her tea and raised an eyebrow imploringly. “I ran into him. Like, literally. Have you seen his scars?” Catelyn nodded. The whole story sprung out of Sansa’s mouth. Every detail of her encounter the day before was recounted. Even, much to her embarrassment, how she had noticed his size and the handsomeness left in his face. “…and he gave me his phone number so we could take the dogs out together? He says he has a dog. So I texted him last night to see if he wanted to go for a hike on Sunday but he said he had to go to a boxing match but that I could come if I like and…. I think I would like to. But I’m not sure if I should!” It had all poured out of her in some sort of mad rush. Sansa pressed her face into her hands to stem the flow of words.

Catelyn chuckled lightly.  
“You know I think that’s the most you’ve said in one go for months.” Sansa peered out from between her fingers at her mother’s smiling face. Catelyn rose off the couch and ruffled her daughter’s hair. “You and I have always known how to talk about boys after all, being surrounded by them all the time. Sansa, go to the match. It will be good for you to get out of the house, and I’m sure Arya would join you if that would help.”

Sansa watched her mother walk into the kitchen and deposit her teacup into the sink before making her way to her office upstairs. Lady came over and nudged Sansa’s hand with her head. Sansa patted her on the head, and drew herself off the couch. _Might as well take her back outside._  

Standing in the back yard Sansa threw the ball to Lady and pulled her phone out of her pocket. Smiling as she watched the huge white dog bound after the ball, she scrolled to Sandor’s message thread. _Okay Sansa, you can totally do this._  

Sandor  
  
You could come if you like.  
  
Yes! I'd like to  
  
It's at 11.  
  
[Map Attatchment]  
  
Might bring my sister if that's okay?  
  
Aye, me either  
Having a good day?  
[Video Attatchment]

Sansa had sent him a video of Lady charging back up, triumphantly gripping the bright blue ball between her teeth. _Was that weird? No. He said he likes dogs. Everyone likes dog videos._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is short, but the next one has Sandor POV if that makes up for anything - I had to cut it here or it was going to get truly unwieldily. We get a lot of Sansa's history in the next one.  
> I think if I ever write any more fics I'm going to have to have much more written before I post - I keep finding myself wanting to go back and tweak things in the first couple chapters which unfortunately has lead to some clunkiness as I try and write around my earlier missteps. Plus then you guys wouldn't have to wait so fucking long for updates.
> 
> I had an idea of where this story was going when I published the first chapter, but I've dug myself into a bit of a hole with the pacing. To get to where I was intending to go it would take multiple time jumps and at least thirty chapters. I think this fic will end up being on the shorter side - perhaps ten chapters, give or take. But then I think a sequel with a time jump will follow.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sandor already knows a lot about Sansa Stark.

Chapter Five

_-sandor-_

 

The girl had sent him a video of her dog that morning - she truly was a big beast. Stranger had whined and scratched around the house confused after Lady barked in the video. They'd spent the better part of the day texting back and forth - innocuous 'getting to know you' type stuff. Sansa's favorite color was a tie between steel grey and lemon yellow. She liked all different kinds of music, and had worked for a political news website for the past few years, but wasn't sure what she wanted to do now. There had been a lot of flirting. Sandor really wasn’t sure what to make of that. He wasn’t sure what to make of her at all. Sitting with his booted feet heavy on the coffee table across from his worn couch, he stared at the blank, dark screen of his phone. He hadn’t wanted to get the glossy thing, but he was sure fucking glad he had it now. 

He’d begrudgingly gotten a cell phone ten or twelve years earlier when he started his construction company. It had been practical and durable. He’d had a version of that phone two or three times - each one lasting for at least three or four years. The last one he held onto long after the small screen got damaged and one of the buttons fell off because the company had stopped making it. All the phones at the store now were big hand-held computers with delicate screens and no buttons to speak of. Or they were flimsy with buttons much too small for his stupidly large hands. He was going to give up on having a phone all together - the business was doing well enough to hire a secretary, what did he need a cell phone fore anyway? 

He had mentioned this to Tormund, who had erupted in laughter. Insisted that Sandor simply could not live without a phone, and certainly not one without internet and whatever the fuck an app was. Somehow, after a few pints and a warm meal, Sandor had found himself the owner of an iPhone. It took him a week to figure out how to use the buggering thing, but he grew to like it quickly. He could run his entire bloody business from the thing, from ordering supplies to payroll to filing his fucking taxes. 

The one thing it couldn’t do, he soon discovered, was survive a drop from his pocket. The screen had shattered into a million little pieces, glass falling out onto the wet concrete he was pouring where it would remain. He had shoved the husk of a phone back into his pocket, figuring he would run to the store after work or at the weekend to replace it. Much to his chagrin, he hadn’t even made it through lunch. Sandor hated how dependent he’d become on the little bit of technology, but suddenly he found himself unable to answer simple scheduling questions without first consulting the device. It was maddening, but at least he had the world in his pocket. Didn’t hurt that he could watch porn on the thing. 

 

The girl. He’d heard tell of her from the wolf bitch for years, her beautiful older sister, her perfect older sister, her poor older sister. He'd heard about their other siblings too, but Sansa and Jon were who Arya talked about most. 

Sandor and Arya were like twin flames. His had been lit within him when Gregor had held his face against the fireplace grate. Arya had been born with that fire, far as Sandor could tell. His had taken longer to temper - a stint in the military, years of therapy, the physical release of boxing, and finally accepting that he was worthy of love & friendship. Arya had tempered her flame earlier, but in much the same way. She burned for dancing now, for the gym, and for the bull-headed mechanic. She would still pick a fight with a jackass on the street if he deserved it, but the fire didn't consume her anymore. It used to startle Sandor, when the vicious things he was thinking would spill out of Arya's mouth without hesitation, and it had endeared him to her. When Brienne was looking for a new instructor at the gym, he'd recommended her immediately, despite only knowing her from her work as a bartender at The Inn. They'd grown thick as thieves once they were spending time together at the gym as well as the bar, although Arya still liked to pretend he was mud on her boot. Sandor didn't mind her attitude most of the time, recognized it for what it was, an amusement for her. He called her wolf bitch and she rolled her eyes and called him old and ugly and she was his little sister in everything but blood. 

 

Her poor older sister. Half a year ago, Arya had raged against him in the gym for a week. Sandor always enjoyed sparring with her - his size versus her speed - and they weren’t afraid to be a little vicious with each other. But after she nearly broke two of his fingers he’d forced her to stop fighting and tell him what was wrong. They’d lain on the mats, staring up at the ugly tile ceiling and she’d told him about her sister. 

 

“We didn’t get along, when we were girls.” Arya had started, rolling her eyes and huffing air at him when he said she was still a girl. “She was so feminine. Loved playing with dolls and baking with our mother and love stories. The only girly thing they ever got me to do was dance. I was always dirty, coming home with twigs in my hair and scrapes on my knees. Mother knew what to do with Sansa, but she never really knew what to make of me.” She’d paused then, face twisting in remorse. 

“When Sansa went away to university, she met up with an old family friend. Joffrey Baratheon.” Suddenly, Sandor understood. He knew parts of this story from Jamie Lannister and gossip around town, but didn't interrupt. 

 

“They started dating and when she came home at Thanksgiving she was talking like he hung the fucking stars. I honestly expected her to turn up with an engagement ring at Sevenmas, but it didn’t happen. She didn’t come home at the holidays that year. She didn’t come home for spring break either. We had gotten much closer during her last year of high school and the summer before university - we talked all the time. I had just started dating Gendry that summer and she helped me navigate that. I had so many walls up... I don't think he and I would be married today if Sansa hadn't helped me those first few months." Arya had inhaled deeply, pressing her hand hard against her eyes. Sandor's heart had keened for Arya then, the grief in her voice was so thick he was starting to think she was going to tell him her sister had died. Surely he would have heard about that. She took another deep breath and sniffled before continuing. 

"Anyway. After Thanksgiving… I barely heard from her. She would answer when I called, but the conversations were short. She was cagey - and Sansa was always so fucking talkative! I know now that he was always listening. Reading her texts, taking her phone away, monitoring her calls. Two weeks before the end of term I woke up in the middle of the night to doors slamming. My father, Robb, and Jon tore out of the house like their asses were on fire. Mom was sobbing. She’d gotten a phone call from Tyrion Lannister. He’d stopped by campus to visit his nephew and had taken Joff and Sansa for dinner. Apparently the little prince’s behavior at dinner had worried him, so he surprised them at Joffrey’s apartment later in the night.  
He’d just missed Joffrey, who’d decided to go out on the town with his shit cronies and left Sansa at home. Tyrion found her passed out in the kitchen. She’d been badly beaten.” Arya sighed. "Jon, dad, and Robb drove through the night to get to Lannisport and pick her up. They packed up everything she owned, sorted out letting her take her finals remotely with the school, and brought her home.   
Dad called Joffrey's and told him in no uncertain terms that Joffrey would face the consequences of this, regardless of the decades of friendship between him and Robert. It seems like Joff's uncles agreed with Dad - Tyrion offered to 'straight up bitch slap the little shit', and Jaimie pulled some strings and had him sent to some kind of school for criminally violent little rich boys where they try and teach them the wrong of their ways.   
Didn't work of course. Jackass ended up immediately doing the same thing to another girl, one of Sansa's friends actually, but her family wasn't as nice as ours. Joffrey died in a car crash about a year after all this happened. It was kind of suspicious - he went off the side of the road into a ravine, and there were no signs that he'd tried to brake. Supposedly the Maester said his BAC was way over the limit, but his little friends insist he hadn't been drinking that night. Dad won't talk about it but from what I've overheard, I'm pretty sure Margaery's family had him killed. Piece of shit deserved it if you ask me." 

Sandor knew for a fact that Olenna Tyrell had been the cause of Joffrey's death. Jaime had told him about it, one drunken night a few years back in Kings Landing. He wasn't particularly fond of the man, but he maintained a decent relationship with him for Brienne's sake. Olenna called Jaimie and told him what she was going to do, I suppose out of respect. He had told her to go right ahead, and he would make sure his sister believed it was an accident. Jamie hadn't mentioned Sansa by name, only Margaery and "a few other girls". Sandor had been stunned at the time, Jamie hadn't struck him as the type of man to condemn his nephew to death, but hearing how broken Arya sounded over her sister's pain he respected Jamie more for the decision.

“Sansa came home for the summer and healed. She wouldn’t talk about any of it, not really. Eventually we made him into a joke. It sounds so stupid but, whenever something went wrong we’d blame him. Spilled milk? Fucking Joffrey. Stubbed her toe? Fucking Joff. Rickon didn't do his homework? Definitely Joffrey's fault.  We still do it, actually. Blamed him for a hangover just last week. Ithink it must have helped her. She got better - started laughing again, baking, running with Lady. She started trying to pry all the details of my relationship out of me, which is when I knew she really was okay.  
She went back to school in the fall - this was before he died so I think she was still afraid of him showing up, but he never did. Anyway, she really was fine after that. Did really well in school, graduated, got a good job working with Petyr Baelish at The Vale. She worked there for almost three years. I guess she started dating this guy Willas, Margaery's brother, but she never really talked about him. I know he’s dating some older guy from Dorne now, and she wasn’t upset at all when they broke up. Who knows.  
Around when they broke up she started working a lot more. She was getting good assignments, had a lot of articles published. All of a sudden though, last week, she just turned up at home. I guess Dad was yelling at Rickon about fucking up his car and she just walked in the door with all her stuff. She’d quit her job and broken her lease and driven all the way home without telling anyone. She wouldn’t tell anyone what was going on but the other day I got her to talk.” Arya kicked her feet against the mat. 

"Sorry, I know I’m rambling. Context, y’know. They say it's important or whatever.” 

Sandor had stayed quiet, remembering how freeing it had been to unload like this when he’d begun therapy years earlier. 

“Anyway. Tuesday after my class here she came round to mine and I sent Gendry out to the Inn. Her piece of shit boss had been trying to get her to fuck him basically the whole time she worked there. He’d backed off a bit when she was dating Willas but as soon as they broke up it was like a shark smelling blood. He tried every dirty trick in the book short of physical force.  
She finally snapped last week, threw her coffee in his face and walked out. I’m just so fucking angry for her. After Joffrey she shouldn't have to deal with another disgusting pig like that. I want to drive there and give her a piece of my mind but Mom forbade it, said she's handing it.  
But it's like Sansa used all her energy up fighting him off and now there’s nothing left. She’s a shell of herself, San. Mom says she hardly leaves her bed, the only place she’s been outside of the house since she’s been back is my place that night.”

———— 

 

He’d pitied her, Arya’s poor older sister who attracted the wrong kind of men. But he’d put it to the back of his mind. That had been, what, six months ago? At the time he'd been more concerned about Arya. She hadn't brought it up again. 

Yesterday, he hadn’t even realized who she was at first. Not even when she mentioned Gendry was her brother in law because she’d been so fucking beautiful his mouth had run dry and he'd barely heard a word she'd said. And she said a lot. Chirping on and on and then Tormund had called and she’d kept chirping and it didn’t click until they were idling in the Starbucks line and he’d had a moment to think. But he didn’t say anything. Didn’t say he knew her sister. Didn't say he knew more of her story than he had any right to. Didn’t say he knew Gendry wouldn’t overcharge him because he drank with the lad at least twice a month. He’d just sat there listening to the ringing of her voice, teasing her when the opportunity arose. He could listen to her talk all day, and was shocked when it seemed like she was flirting back. He never expected to hear from her again. Hoped he would never run into her with the wolf bitch. Dreamed of fiery red hair against white silk. When he woke up that morning and saw that he’d missed a text message from an unknown number the night before, his heart had pounded it’s way up to his throat. Having to respond that he was busy the next day was torture. When she said she’d come to Brienne’s boxing match he’d gone as giddy as a schoolgirl.

 

He sighed, scratching at Stranger’s head. “Arya’s going to have my head.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh idk who the fuck I am updating so soon but everyone left me such lovely comments I just had to post this. Plus I've spent the better part of the past seven hours reading SanSan fics so I'm clearly feeling it right now, nothing has been able to break me out of the Reylo spiral I've been in for months. I do genuinely have a very busy July coming, so I'm not sure when the next update will be but I was happy enough with this. I know its very dense but I wanted to let Sansa's story out without making her relive it, and I wanted to establish how close Arya & Sandor are. I promise there won't be any weird deception or drama around Sansa not being the one to tell Sandor about her past.


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VERY long author's note at the end. Like. Basically the length of the chapter. 
> 
> TW: Pregnancy Loss for that note.

****

Chapter 6

 

 

 

“Oh my god Sansa, tell me EVERYTHING!” Margaery’s beautiful face beamed from the FaceTime window on Sansa’s phone. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Marge.” 

“Uh, please don’t lie to me? I saw Arya’s instagram you bitch. HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME? I tell you, like, everything about my love life.”

“Honestly Marge I would rather you didn’t seeing as you’re engaged to my brother.”

“That is besides the point! Spill!”  
Sansa sighed, and smiled at her friend. She had called Margaery after scrolling through Instagram and noticed that Marge had commented three exclamation points on Arya’s latest post a few minutes earlier. The post in question was innocuous, a selfie of Arya and Gendry in the parking lot after dinner the night before. However, in the corner of the photo, above Gendry’s shoulder, you could see the dark flame of Sansa’s hair twisting around Sandor’s hand, and the bottom of her face tilted up to press her lips against his. She was sure Arya had posted it on purpose to embarrass her, had probably even angled the picture that way intentionally. But what’s done is done.

“Sansa! Stop smiling wistfully at me and TELL. ME. EVERYTHING!” Margaery punctuated the last three words with aggressive little claps, egging her friend on. 

“Alright, alright. Mother have mercy. Arya and Gendry went on a double date with me and the guy I’ve been seeing.”

“YOU’VE BEEN SEEING? MULTIPLE TIMES? AND I’M ONLY HEARING ABOUT IT BECAUSE ISAW IT ON INSTAGRAM?”

“Marge! It’s hardly a capital crime! I just wanted to feel things out before I got to gossiping.”

“I’ll bet you wanted to feel things out.” Her friend practically purred with smugness, proud of herself for catching Sansa in an awkward turn of phrase. _I love her, but she is just so much sometimes. Ireally don’t know how she and Robb make it work between Margaery’s infinite energy and his impulsiveness._ But that wasn’t all there was between her brother and her friend, Sansa knew. Margaery was kind, if a bit manipulative - but Robb needed someone who would keep him from traipsing after every bad idea that crossed his mind. But he was a good man, and Sansa knew he treated Margaery like a queen. 

“Don’t be gross, Marge. Yes, I’ve been seeing someone and I’m sorry I didn’t alert you and the media earlier.” She received a derisive snort in return. “His name is Sandor and he’s owns a construction company and he’s got a ridiculous black dog named Stranger.”

“Sansa, Ilove you and we’re going to be sisters which is basically a dream come true, you know that right?” _Where is she going with this?  
_ “…Yes….”

“Then stop beating around the bush and give me the details! I don’t want his resume I want to know how he makes you feel and,” Margaery waggled her eyebrows suggestively “how he makes you FEEL.” 

“Maker, you’re a pain in the ass.”

“You should ask Robb what a pain in the ass I can be.”

“MARGAERY” _I did not ask for this. I did not ask for this. Gross gross gross._ “Stop smirking, you look far too pleased with yourself.”

“Oh, dear Sansa. I always make sure to please myself.” Sansa fixed her phone screen with a glare and ended the video call. Seconds later, Margaery’s incoming FaceTime call lit up her screen. _I shouldn’t answer. She’s so ridiculous._ But Sansa was sitting there, smiling wryly as she accepted the call.

“Sansa! I know Catelyn taught you more courtesy than that! Here I am, your best friend, your future SISTER IN LAW, begging you to share your happiness with me and you do me the disservice of hanging up on me? Truly I’m disappointed.” Margaery gave an exaggerated pout at that, looking every bit a doe-eyed Disney princess. 

“Margaery, I know Olenna taught YOU more courtesy than to speak so crudely to an innocent such as myself.”

“Don’t make me laugh, that woman bought me a vibrator when I was fourteen years old and is not afraid to talk about it! Don’t make me remind you what we found that summer at High Garden!”  
The friends dissolved into giggles for a few minutes, remembering that hot summer night when they were between their second and third years of University. They’d been sipping sweet red wine and painting their toes out on the balcony, when they’d gotten it in their heads to go try on some of Olenna’s jewelry. She had some extremely ostentatious pieces, from back when big blingy jewelry had been in fashion in her youth. Unfortunately, the girls opened the wrong drawer and found a veritable deluge of vibrators and other…. sexual accoutrements. They’d slammed the drawer shut and run quickly back to Margaery’s room, giggling like mad all the way. 

They wiped tears of laughter from their eyes, and Margaery leveled Sansa with a heavy gaze.

“Sansa, if you really don’t want to tell me it’s okay. I’ve just worried, you know. You’ve had a shitty year and I know you’ve been struggling. I just want to lift you up.” _She really is the best friend I could ever ask for._

“Love you, Marge. But if it was as easy as lifting me up to get me out of this funk, I think Sandor might have an easier time than you. He’s quite strong you know.” 

A smile curled onto Margaery’s face. “I’ll have you know, dear sister, that I like, totally lift bro!” She curled her arm up to display her thin, but admittedly toned upper arm.

“Come back to me when you spent a few years in Special Forces and started a construction company and picked up boxing.”

“Oooooh, Special Forces? You sure know how to pick ‘em. How’d you meet? When did you meet? Have you boned yet? Omg is he hung? He looked tall in that picture!!!” Despite her moment of sincerity, Margaery was who she was. _And that person is enthusiastic and genuine, and all too sex-crazed._

“We met three weeks ago at the doctor’s office. No we have not ‘boned’ yet, you feral cat.” Sansa cleared her through, averting her eyes from Margaery’s digital face which still beamed up at her from her phone. “And yes he is very… tall.” As Sansa started to detail the new relationship to her friend, she thought back to the boxing match two weeks earlier.

 

* * *

 

Sunday November 4th, 2017

_What do you wear to a boxing match? Surely not a dress. Ugh - definitely not a dress I am so not shaving my legs. Leggings and a tshirt? But I don’t want to look like I don’t care. Maybe Ishouldn’t go. Maybe we can go see a hockey game this week instead. At least the rinks are cold, I don’t want to be all sweaty. No, no, Ican’t cancel. Can I cancel? Maybe Arya can tell everyone I broke several bones or died. Mother forgive me. No, no fucking dying. I’ll wear jeans and a sweatshirt and if I get too warm I can take it off._

Somehow, both too quickly and not soon enough, Sansa and Arya walked into the gym. Arya was in her element - enthusing to Sansa about what a great boxer Brienne is and how happy she is that Sansa’s finally showing an interest ‘even if it IS because of the hound’ she’d intoned tempestuously. Arya didn’t box competitively- there was too much risk of injury and she loved teaching dance too much to chance hurting herself - but she trained a lot of fighters and could hold her own in the ring. They found seats - it wasn’t a big stadium or anything but it was a nice gym, and there were bleacher seats surrounding a boxing ring.

“So… how well do you know Sandor, exactly? I don’t remember you ever mentioning him before…” Sansa had been wondering this all week, but knew Arya would tease her if she brought it up. _Mother said that he’d been good to Arya and to Brienne… what does that even mean?_ She chewed the inside of her cheek absentmindedly as she peered at Arya, who was blowing hair out of her face and staring out into the middle distance. 

“Imaaaaaaaay know him fairly well.” Arya stretched, cracking her knuckles and rolling her neck. “He’s been drinking at The Inn probably longer than we’ve been alive - which, gross, by the way - and he’s always been a decent sort. Tips, doesn’t make stupid conversation, pushes his stool in when he leaves. He had my back a couple times when I had to throw some drunk asshole out - not that I ever needed help obviously - but it’s nice to know someone’s looking out. 

When Gendry took over the garage, he did some work on Sandor’s truck. They fucking bonded or whatever and so they would hang out at The Inn while I closed up and shoot the shit. I caught them arguing about helmets once, still never figured out what they meant by a bull helmet and a dog helmet. Whatever. Gendry mentioned I was a dancer and that I’d done that course for Sports Medicine and the next thing I know, Brienne comes in and basically offers me a job at the gym. She said Sandor told her I was a hard worker and she’d been looking for someone to teach some dance fitness classes that weren’t Zumba or Jazzercize levels of cheesy so the guys would actually TAKE the classes.”

“Wait. Has he taken your class??”

Arya snorted. “Hell no! He’s about as flexible as a Weirwood. Can barely touch his toes. He’s beyond my help. But we work out together sometimes and he’s been round for dinner blah blah blah.”

“I guess I had just assumed Mom got you that job since she and Brienne are friends…” 

“Yeah, I think most people figure that. Mom says she and Brienne never really talk about the gym so she hadn’t thought about it.”

“What DO they talk about, do you think?”

“Honestly - Ihave no idea. Ican’t really picture Brienne going over Mom’s charity dinner details.”

* * *

 

“AHHHHHH Sanas this is SO EXCITING! Look at YOUuuUU! Dating a MYSTERIOUS OLDER MAN, seeing a therapist, AND keeping secrets from me! Oh how you’ve GROWN!”

“Marge, really I wasn’t keeping secrets! It just didn’t come up!” 

“Whatever you say, sis. Promise to tell me how big his dick is when you find out.”  
Sansa’s finger hovered threateningly over the end call button. 

“Seriously don’t be gross! We’re just getting to know each other.”

Margaery waggled her perfectly sculpted eyebrows up at Sansa.

“Is that what the kids are calling it these days? I guess I better go get to know Robb a little better.” She winked salaciously, blew Sansa a kiss, and ended the call. 

_God, I can’t believe I ever lived with her. Seriously, how does Robb deal?_ Sansa loved her best friend, but she was a big personality. She’d always been there, though. The only thing that had ever come between them was Joffrey, and that had been a massive oversight on both their parts. 

Margaery had always known when Sansa needed to be left alone, when she needed to be pulled up, and when she needed a shoulder to cry on. She’d been a blessing all these years, and somehow she’d done it again. Sansa had been curled up in bed when she called Marge, putting off a shower she desperately needed and debating cancelling her appointment with Dr. Brother that afternoon.  
  
After all - she didn’t feel depressed anymore. She was just tired. It wasn’t the same as it had been. She was looking forward to things again. _Ijust laughed so much on the phone. Depressed people don’t giggle. Being tired and being depressed aren’t the same thing._  
  
A piece of Marge’s boundless energy had seeped into Sansa’s body over the call, and she ran a hot shower and sat on the floor soaking up the water for twenty minutes. She sang along to the radio on her way to the appointment, and answered Dr. Brother’s questions politely, even if she was picking at the skin on her hands while she did it, tapping her foot nervously the whole time.  
  
_This isn’t depression. I’m doing so much better._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [TW LOSS for this note]
> 
> Hahahaha. I knew I shouldn't have updated so quickly last time. Sorry for the....... casual seven month break. It's been a doozy. Let me summarize.
> 
> We moved, which always costs SO much more than you think its going to. 
> 
> Then we get settled in the new apartment and find out that I'm pregnant with our first child. From the jump it was not a perfect pregnancy. I'm a heavyset broad, and I've recently lost 50lbs but it was still a concern. I'm also high risk for pre-eclampsia for a number of reasons, and they thought that the pregnancy might be borderline ectopic.   
> In the end, after knowing I was pregnant for a short four weeks, none of that mattered. The baby wasn't ectopic, but it had implanted over to the side of my uterus, which is not a particularly vascular area and wasn't getting the blood and nutrients it needed to grow and thrive. Columbus Day weekend I found out I had miscarried, had surgery, and entertained three houseguests. 
> 
> Since then I've healed up, started therapy, gotten a part-time job, and gone back on anti-depressants. 
> 
> In the mean time, the power plant my husband works for has had a series of major issues that lead us to this week.  
> He's been temporarily laid off while the plant undergoes repairs - could be a month, could be two, could be longer. Not sure. Either way, even if this all gets wrapped up quickly, this is no longer a job he feels comfortable relying on in the long run. Which means we get to move all over again. It might not be right away, but as soon as he finds a better job we're going to have to relocate. And this time it's probably going to be much further away.
> 
> Basically, fuck 2018. I'm sorry if this chapter is a mess - I've had it half written since June and had a burst of energy to work on it tonight and wanted to post it before I lost my nerve. Hope to see you again before another seven months passes- crazy to think that by then we'll have gotten Season Eight.

**Author's Note:**

> So that's the first installment. This started as an exercise to ease my way back into creative writing after almost ten years off. I haven't written any fanfiction since I attempted to write some SERIOUSLY ill-advised HP smut in middle school, and I haven't written much in general since I dropped out of college in 2010. But I'm tired of running into my former mentor every few years and having to admit to him that no, I'm not writing anything. If anyone reads this - thank you.


End file.
